Mommy Issues

One of the most common issues that turns into an issuation is men who have not found a way to detach from the mothers/families appropriately.

These issuations can cause women to feel left out and useless in the relationship because the man often chooses to deal with his family for varies reasons, often after an argument or break-up.

Mommy Hates Daddy

Men who come from a home with only a mother who hates his father, and he looks just like his father are usually the worse off. Next to the man whose mother gives her son everything, this man is a horror to deal with. He is forever trying to win his momma's love and she ain't having it cause she didn't get the love from his daddy she was promised. His reflection of the father is enough to ensure this boy will forever be craving the love of a loving and affection mother.

A woman with one of these guys who is unwilling to work on himself should not allow herself to take what he is doing personally. IF he ain't the one, run. But if you want him, suggest he get help if he doesn't? Then RUN!

Mommy Had a Lot of Brothers

When a young man finds out his mother is sexually active it is hard on him. If he has a mother who does not care that he knows she is sexually active, it is usually a source of immense shame. Sometimes these mothers are drug addicted, or prostitutes, sluts, needy, or just straight up a hoe. No matter the case, no young man suffers well with knowing the truth about Eve.

These brother usually don't trust women. They know the women that will fuck. They know the aggressive woman who brings home man after man and bands them to their room; or maybe not. Suspicion and disrespect will stream throughout any relationship this brother has. No one is safe unless he gets therapy.

Mommy Real Religious

These the real freaks out of the bunch. Check out the Jodi Arias story.

These men hide behind God and are dangerous on the deepest level because they prey on folks souls.
Those are the extreme ones. There are men who are frigid because they have been taught little about their bodies except to ignore its natural inclinations.

Mommy Was Passed Out

Here many of the "Caption Save a Hoe's" are bread. I never have to worry about them. I am waaaay too independent. These men seek to always be the savior, when in fact they are little boys who had to take control to survive due to having a mother who had checked out for real. Only awake for the next hit.

You know what to do!

These are just a few Mommy issues I have seen women deal with. I believe we all can benefit from therapy. Even people who are well-adjusted. You might be good, but you can always be better.

My Issue: #2

Another issue I have noticed is I do not look at men. I never did when I was married and it is soooo hard to break the habit. I can see a man who seems interested, but my first instinct is to turn away. I must work on this if I am to catch the eye of whose looking at me.

My Issue #1

Okay, since being alone and doing deep sea fishing of my soul; I have discovered that my independence and opinionated nature tends to make some men feel intimidated. I was told by a friend that men who have been reared by mothers who fit the same description are often apprehensive because they make an undo connection between the two.

Yes, I probably will remind a man of his momma or grand momma on the surface, but get to know me and you will soon find out this ain't yo' momma ova here. My tone various depending on the issue at hand. A passionate and deep feeling woman my emotional response to most things is only a benefit to the man I love. He cannot lose if he is able to stir my emotions.

I do not appeal to men who seek to protect and provide. They feel they will feel useless around me. How can that be when all I want to be is be caressed, kissed, touched, sang to, danced with, looked at and adored? You don't have to buy me things are pay my bills to be a man in my eyes. Pay attention to me. Allow me to love and serve you. Be open to fun and leisure. These are the things I require most. Money matters is not pillow talk for me. I won't be the woman who whispers past due bill balances in your ear.

Love is a hard sell. I am finding that many men are so used to being used for what they have that they expect a woman to expect money instead of love and respect.

I am doing all I can not to let this issue turn into a situation. What I won't do is change who I am. What I will do is be open, straightforward and honest.

Why I Love Black Men

It really pisses me off that I have to explain why I want a black man to black people. That is the dumbest shit, but exposes the big issue. We hate ourselves and we don't get enough ways to show it. We just keep on being stupid.

Why the hell wouldn't I want a black man? The more I write this the more pissed off I get. What the hell is wrong with wanting to be loved by a black man? Am I crazy because I refuse to buy into what they white man has said about the black man? Am I wrong to hold out for hope that a black man will recognize the gem that I am, take me in his arms and wrap me up in his life?

No, I think not. I know the Universe plans for me to share my love with a man who has no doubt about who I am because we are the same and we know it. If there is a difference, it ain't the same. There is no one for me if it ain't a black man. And yes, I men mean a black American man. Anyway! Miss me with that bullshit. I think people just jacked up cause I know what I want and have no problem saying exactly what it is.

But I know it goes deeper than that. Folks plantation mentalities creep up when you don't include white people. They take what they want. They can't take what I create from within. We have to stop giving them so much power. I am not disrespecting anyone by stating my preference. That is the whole point of being free. I know I'm free to choose and I choose to have a black man by my side.

A Woman Cannot Raise A Man

No matter how you slice it, a woman cannot successfully rear a male child into his maleness. Maleness is a given factor that women do not understand and must discover to even be able to tolerate the presence of men. This lack of understanding has ruined a lot of relationships and lives of little boys.

Unfortunately, this issue has become an issuation and only serves to destroy families. So many folk have divorced because they simply did not recognize the gender differences that cannot be changed. Yes, men think differently than women and vice versa. Until both sexes accept and respect this, we will continue to have a high rate of divorce.

Cheating is often given as the a reason for many divorces in this country. The number is unimaginable when it comes to how many women throughout history have been cheated on when they were pregnant. On the surface we can challenge a man's character, or we can accept that society and lack of knowledge often creates an environment where cheating can arise.

Example: Lack of Knowledge

How many people do you know who believe the baby can be touched during sexual intercourse? If you believe this, you man or woman, is not going to want to do anything to hurt the fetus. No sex for these folks, or at least the woman. The man will use his belief that he should never be without sex, or that he cannot control his sexual appetite to cheat on his wife.

Example: Societal Pressure

How many people do you know who think pregnant women are sacred and should not be sexually active? These people, men and women, Use the condition to pull away during a time when they should be drawing closer. It has only been in the last 25 years that women have been revealing their protruding stomachs. There was a time they tried not to be seen in public.

My point is this, we must delve into the origin of these things that keep us from understanding the opposite sex, even with understanding, without compassion for the opposite sex change will not come about. So many single mothers are bitter when it comes to men that they often unintentionally burden their male children with challenge of becoming a man on his own because she can barely think of men without becoming hostile. How do you think that resonates to the soul of a young man trying to become a man? To see the mother whom he loves dearly cringe at the sound of his father's name, or any other man she has claimed to love. This hurts and confuses him.

I encourage women who do not have male figures in their son's lives to do all they can to make it happen. Stop hiding behind having to work as a reason not to parent. Often the reason you are alone is of your own making, whether you accept it or not. Your male child deserves a chance in this world and he will be better suited if he has a decent male role model to help guide him.

Knowing the Difference

Many of us have an issue with knowing the difference when it comes to words and actions in a love relationship. I know it sounds strange, but bare with me. See, oftentimes folk just want to hear someone say they are loved and do not pay attention to their actions. How many times have you heard someone whose been a fool in a relationship use the excuse, "But they said they loved me."

Do we not know the difference because we have not been taught or shown what love really looks like? Do we not know that when we think of love we rarely have images of pain? Yet, when we are in relationships and they are consistently painful, we still say, "But they said they loved me."

Knowing the difference is easy when you love yourself. Loving yourself requires little more than accepting that if you have breathe, you have life and all that is living is worthy of life. Therefore, there is nothing you have to do to be worthy of participating in life to the fullest. It is our lack of self-confidence and awareness of we are wonderfully made that makes us remind blind to what we know.
Love does not hurt. Plain and simple.

Middle-aged Woman

What I like most about being an middle-aged women is you can play both sides of the fence for as long as your mind and or body holds out. Looking back at the position I held; I was in step with the teenagers. They hated they couldn't run no game on me. I still remembered all this little innuendo stuff that went on in high school and although a little modified, it was the same premise.

I attribute a lot of my youthfulness to my love for music, laughter, sex, and dancing. My oldest told me she would always know when my husband and I were making love because she would hear loud music and laughter. I am a joyful sex partner. I think sex is fun. Being middle-aged, tube tied, and menopausal; I honor my sexuality and am in total of control over with whom I share it with.

Middle age feels good to me. I feel as solid as I tried to portray in my early life. Now, I am that woman without hesitation. When I moved among others, I try to shrink, but my shoulders fly back, my head zips up and I just keep focused on where I am going.

I have decided to grow an Afro. Lawd, I am tender headed. I have not had hair for almost 23 years. It is time for a change. Heaven must be like this. This complete feeling of self-trust. The remembering of what the world made you forget. I keep reminding myself I am great and am an Empress, able to rule over my emotions, decipher my feelings and act appropriately in all occasions.

As with most everything in life, there is a downside to middle age. For me it has been the onset of Osteoarthritis, glaucoma and obesity. I cope.

I refuse to let any issue in my life become an issuation. Reaching middle age has taught me I can work it out.