Whose Talking About This?

What do the horny do for Christmas?
Man, I'm in trouble. I have come close to letting an issue turn into a situation. I plan to get it together before it becomes an issuation.

One of the major reasons I married at all was due to my libido. I have a high personal integrity and when I saw how my attitude towards sex would eventually get me in trouble; I began looking for someone to marry. My husband loved being my sexual play thing. I had that for 27 years. These last two years have been hell.

Now, the issue is I'm feeling like I did when I first recognized my sexual organs at 15. That throbbing and yearning, etc. This sinner is going to fold under this pressure. My mind has been telling "NO!" over the last two years. Now my body is screaming, "YES!"

It is done!

The Reality of Aging

This issue of aging will not be something I will consciously allow to become a situation. The reality of aging is chasing me down. My mind feels so free and ready, but when I go to move; my body halts and the pain sets in reminding me I am half a century old.

Had I not been an active person I may not be suffering as much as I am. I'd probably give in to the pain and just sit around feeling sorry for myself. I will not do it. I love living and feeling alive. I refuse to give into the horrific pain I sometimes encounter after doing things that would not have affected me at all just three years ago.

I believe we are not meant to do a lot of the things we do. Then the added strain of being overweight most of my life has only added insult to injury. I have whipped my body.As I sit here with a heating pad on my spine, and think about how good it feels; I chuckle. The reality of the matter, of the fact is I am aging.

Why Black Women Are Not Marriageable: Part Two

What does it mean to be agreeable?

 Agreeableness is a learned quality. No one really wants to compromise, not even on little things. But when it comes to marriage whose success requires the couple reach an understanding, having a spirit of agreeableness is the only way for it to really work.

A spirit of agreeableness opens you up to other possibilities. Agreeableness is not the same as letting someone walk over you, or not being able to voice your opinion. When you have a spirit of agreeableness you approach each situation with your spouse with the mindset that you want the outcome to be as close to win/win, as possible for the both of you.

Many black women have it in their mind that they know what is right for those they come in contact with, especially their husbands. Often men are bombarded with demands, expectations, and requests that are out of line. Some men try to fulfill the needs of these women, some try to reason, some leave. No matter what the case, the relationship usually ends. It ends because an understanding was not reachable. Marriage cannot survive in a real way without the couple learning to agree with each other, or at least agreeing to disagree.    

Picking your battles!

Choosing what to fight about can help you on your journey towards becoming more agreeable. Guess what? You really don’t have to fight about every little thing. There is a level of pettiness that enters into relationships when there is a lack of an agreement. The marriage and how it is run is usually a free-for-all, the wife doing her thing, and the husband doing his. For some couples, this works, but for the majority of us, it doesn’t.

When we were first married, my husband and I disagreed a lot. I couldn’t understand why he thought the way he did and I felt like I needed to at least understand his process. Sometimes his explanations were way out there and I just rejected him completely. I could not allow him to have his own thought process. Somehow, I felt like since I loved him, he should be more like me. He should at least think the way I do after all he wants to be with me.

Well, the best thing that ever happened to me was learning to let him have his thoughts and the way he figures out the world. I stopped demanding he think the way I do and do what I think he should do. He still has a problem with this when it comes to me, but you know what, since I have developed a spirit of agreeableness, I no longer get mad when I can tell he is trying to control me. Instead, I listen, then choose whether I want to address whatever he said that didn’t sit well with me, then I say what I need to say, or perform whatever action I feel is necessary.

Recognize your communication style differences

I can tell you without even knowing you that the man in your life, or the one you may have had in your life, is not like you. He doesn’t think like you, he wasn’t raised like you, but most importantly his maleness is a sure sign he does not communicate the way you do. Black women’s lack of ability to be agreeable makes it even harder for them to recognize the fact that men are cut from a different cloth. They are not meant to be us. They are meant for us to discover.

You cannot discover if you already know everything. This is where the biggest problems lie. Women thinking they know everything. I have found the less educated a woman is, or the more she has monetarily, she is likely to be more disagreeable.

Stephanie Booth wrote an article published on MSN in the Lifestyle section 2/4/10, They’re Golden: Together for 50+ Years and Still In Love. She interviewed Betty and Louis Chernoff. Louis is quoted as saying, “Our clocks click exactly the same. Whenever Betty wants to do something, I want to do it, too.”

That’s how it has to be if you want to stay together. All that bantering and the little fights might seem fun in the beginning, but after a while they get old. You just want to get along. You just want some peace. A disagreeable soul is NEVER at peace. They are most often upset about this, that or the other for whatever reason.

Some things our men do are just things males do. If you and your friends are complaining about the exact same things, you should take a step back and realize it has to be a male thing, because other than being male, all men are not alike.

Do What You Need to Do For Yourself

Most often these women are stressed out to the max. They are not doing what they need to do for themselves. They have all these expectations for others, but will tend to let themselves slide when it comes to doing what is in their best interest.   These women cannot be held accountable. They often refuse to look at themselves in situations they often create. These women are unmarriageable.

Why Black Women Are Not Marriage: Part One

There will be a lot of women mad at me by the end of this piece; especially black women. I will risk the anger to tell the truth. Simply put, many women, but particularly black women are not marriageable.

 Marry, as with many words, has several meanings listed in the dictionary. According the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, definition number two reads: “To combine or blend agreeably.”

Agreeably, agreeable, agree, if I am to be honest most black women I know have the tendency to be disagreeable on some level. When it comes to whether a man is going to choose you or not, and he doesn’t, it very well may be because you display signs of being disagreeable.

Agree -- To grant consent; accede. 2. To come into or be in accord, as of opinion. 3. To be of one opinion; concur. 4. To come to an understanding or to terms.

Wow! Be honest. How close do you come to being agreeable with anyone throughout your day? How often do you agree with yourself? We contradict ourselves all the time. Women gripe about the phrase, “Boys will be boys.” But we have one just as bad, “It is a woman’s prerogative to change her mind.” This statement was undoubtedly born out of some man’s frustration to understand the fickle nature of his woman.

Dr. Boyce Watkins, publisher of the website www.thegrio.com, wrote an article Single Black Women Should End the Blame Game. He wrote: “We know the story: over 70% of all African-American women don’t have husbands. That is a tragedy for the entire family, especially the children. “

It truly is a tragedy and one that can be turned around with some sisters accepting this wake-up call. Most people can’t see themselves. In a lot of ways black women have been given a huge pass both historically and presently. We have always been allowed to work, whereas black men have been kept out of the workforce one way or the other. This factor alone is enough to cause friction in a marriage, but an enlightened couple could overcome the obstacles of social castration. This will not happen if they cannot come to an understanding.

This “pass” I mentioned earlier that black women have been given has served to create a group of women who taunt men with the phrase, “I can do bad all by myself.” They sing it like an anthem all day, then cry to their friend, family, or in their pillows because they cannot find a man willing to marry them.  

It is not that we roll our necks, or yell sometimes, or how much money we spend, etc. that keeps us single, it truly is our seemingly inability to learn to at the least agree to disagree. Most often many women seek to have “their way.” Oh, yeah, you believe you are right and you know what? Being a women I to dare say we are right a lot. Even if you are right 50% of the time, there is still another 50%. What many women do is ignore the possibility their opinion falls within the 50% that is wrong. They want to be right at all cost; even if it means not having a father for their children, sleeping alone, paying all the bills, doing all the laundry, cooking all the food, going to all the conferences, and so on.

These are the superwomen who die from heartache disguised as heart disease. They become bitter and live their lives blaming the lack of a man for their unproductive lives, when in reality it was because they did not learn how to become agreeable, that they were unmarriageable.

I know black men do not understand why they have a hard time with us. They have seen these superwomen do things they could never imagine, yet, they still have a sense that something is amiss. Even though they love their superwomen grandmothers and mothers, they may shy away from women who display their qualities, especially if they are the type who believe their opinion is always right and they know what is best for everyone they come in contact with.

The fact these women are this way with everyone sometimes gives the impression they are being authentic. It is just the opposite. These women are often scattered, unable to finish projects, fatigued, lonely and angry. Because they cannot agree with anyone’s opinion except their own, they find themselves isolated, not only from potential husbands, but family members and others. Show me a superwoman and I’ll show you a Lone Ranger. They might seemingly be there to save the day, but not really because whoever they help better be ready to do it their way, or they just may not receive help, or wish they didn’t because they’ll have to hear about it forever.

Dr. Watkins continues: “I’m sorry if this hurts your feelings, but I’ve got to be real. Most kind, attractive, intelligent women are able to find good husbands. Some of us spend our lives either barking up the wrong trees or barking in a way that sabotages our objectives.”

He is right. For many of us, our bark is just a preview of our bite. Some of us can be harsh, and yes, if you want to stay in the natural, you do have a lot of reasons to be angry. Just with the daily pressures of being a black woman, you can justify your anger, but as a human being, a Christian as many of you are, you do not have the right to bulldoze others with your opinions, wants, needs, and desires.

Most of the women who are not marriage material have been through numerous failed relationships. They may have actually started out “kind, attractive, intelligent women,” but let their poor choice of men make them bitter and resentful. Some of them torture their children, who God help them, “Look just like your daddy.” Some turn to drink, or drugs, or continue the downward spiral of wrong man, wrong time.

Then there are the women who have never really allowed themselves to love another fully. They want relationships and will try to get next to love without getting involved. They can be committed, but will never fully commit. These are the women who usually have the good jobs, and money. They are guarding their things, while pretending to be guarding their hearts.

We all know the woman who wants her man to have everything. She will brag and boast to her friends how she had to buy him this, that and the other because he didn’t have anything. She’ll show him the world, introduce him to all the right people, and most likely is just what he wants in bed. But when it comes to him having his own life, he is cut short, and if he doesn’t tow the line, cut off. She’ll cry to her friends how he took advantage of her and she had to put him out because he wasn’t right. When in reality, he probably wanted to go a game with his buddies and she didn’t want him to go. He went anyway and she took that as complete rejection. These women are scary.

And of course, no about black women would be complete without talking about the battered wife. Although the syndrome is real, and it usually has its roots in the woman’s childhood, there still is an aspect of the battered woman’s personality that people just can’t seem to grasp. People always ask, “Why do they stay?” For some they stay because they really think they can control the man. Many of these women started out as dominate in the relationship, or so they man let them believe, then one day she wanted to do for someone other than him, and he snaps. You see this with couples who dated in high school and married young.

It is out of arrogance and egotism of the worse kind when a woman feels she is the only one who understands or can care for a man, especially when he is beating you daily. In the worse twisted way, many of these women really feel they understand these guys. The man only plays on the woman’s desire to be superwoman. Whereas some superwomen are super angry, some are super passive, but have learned to use their passive natures in a way that is unhealthy for them. These women choose men who continue to fulfill their desire to be the martyr of the family. They are the ones who take on all the burden and pain. They will say, “I just wanted us to be a family. I know he really loves me and the kids.”

The black woman’s seemingly inability to learn to agree to disagree will keep her single and unhappy.    

What Is Your Issue?

I watched Al Sharpton's interview with Oprah and was glad to hear he had stood up to himself, said no and found a healthier way of life. His issue was clearly food. He ate fried chicken three times a day. It is a wonder he is alive.

We all have our issues. Food happens to be mine also. It was only when I told myself no that I was able to say yes to life. Most of us think our sin is better than an other's. We relish in our ability to manage being out of control. Al Sharpton most definitely was raging because he was starving himself. His body was not  getting what it needed to function properly.

For me, when I almost died from Pernicious Anemia, I woke up and began to take my health seriously. I was literally dying from a protein deficiency. Vitamin B-12 shots once a month sustain my life. It is absolutely amazing to me. I take several supplements, but the most important things I do for myself is I get rest, sleep and try to do all things in moderation.

Al Sharpton is being strict with himself which is a great things especially since he is so hard on others. He, as have I, have dealt with our demons and our lack of weight gain shows it. I recently began taking medication for a thyroid that should have been treated probably most of my life. with four weeks I lost eight pounds. When issues arise, we must tackle them before the become situations cause before you know it, you'll have an issuation on your hands.

What is your issue?

This Thang They Call Love

I am at a point in my life where I have to once again, choose to love. Yes, right off the bat I know and you know that there will be issues. What I have learned is issues arise. What I know I will do when they do; is meet them head on.

Our lives would be so much easier to navigate if we would be the adults we are designed to be and just deal with issues as they arise. You spend twice as much time redoing when doing it right the first time is most effective and efficient.

This thang we call love is nothing more than us desiring to fulfill or natural mandate. It is our insertion of our will that causes us to lose sight of God's will for us. Oh, when you let love be. When you allow it to use you, you come close, oh so close to heaven. Yes, I will love again. I will do so because I am love and that is what it is.

I have stopped all my magical thinking. I have chosen to become an explorer of human nature, especially my own. I refuse to let any issue in my life turn into a situation. Issuations are made from messy lives. You have to clean up the mess you make in your life. You cannot expect to be lovable when you know you are messy. Yes, they will find out. They always do.

Yeah, I'd be scared of the this thang called love if I was anywhere near the woman I was 15 years ago. I have done the work and now it is time for me to give myself permission to be loved.

What's So Great About You?

I never understood the belief that to have a good relationship you had to have mostly everything in common with the person you are with. The adventurer in me cannot accept the already known. I want to explore someone who I do not recognize. I want to discover their dreams and desires and help them cultivate them.

To those who are seeking themselves in others, I ask you, "What's so great about you to the degree you want to be with someone just like you?"

I am one of the most uninteresting people I know when I am in my element. I can be very moody and distant, especially when I am working or thinking. Most of my hobbies are solitary ones. I enjoy my company immensely, but I do recognize how someone could see me as boring. This is one of the major reasons I want someones who stimulates parts of me that I let lay dormant. Not that they do not exist, it is just easy for me to resist their call. Having someone like me would insure we probably wouldn't do much and that's get old real quick.

Yet, you see all the time folk praying to find someone who thinks like them, listens to the same music they do, etc., etc., and so on and so on. I believe deeply the moment we decided we want to share who we are with another and discover who they are; our relationships will be more satisfying.

So, the next time you sit down to make a list about what you want in a person. Write one about what makes you worthy of another person. List the qualities worthy of sharing. Describe the ways of love you plan to practice. Ponder the acts of service you can perform. But, most of all seek God's will.

Watch What You Ask For

One of the issues most people have is they ask for things whether they really know if they want them or not. No thought is put into their request so when they get what they want and find out they don't want it, depending on what it is, they are usually upset.

Then, they become the victim when they asked for what they didn't really need or want in the first place. This is one of the many issues that turn into situations leaving the person with an issuation.

The only way to stop this pattern is to know who you are. Self-awareness will stop you from asking for stuff you ultimately will not want or need. Self-reflection is the way to self-awareness. Reflecting on ones thoughts and actions can reveal to them the patterns that ruin their ability to maintain happiness, find joy and accept peace.

Unfortunately, we live in a world that tells us more is the answer; when in reality, having less is usually  the beginning of gaining more.

Watch what you ask for, you just may get it.

Magical Thinking

At any time we compare what we want in real life to a fairy tale, the is magical thinking. When we expect to get everything we need from our marital life, that is magical thinking. When we think our spouse should be able to read our minds, that is dangerous magical thinking. When we think our kids are perfect, just cause they are our kids, that is delusional magical thinking.

Magical thinking is when you make up scenarios that are not based in reality. Unfortunately, most of what constitute our lives is based on stuff we have read in books, saw on TV or grew up with. Very seldom are their people who try to discover alternative avenues for rearing their family they are stuck on the romance model of love and it is destroying our families. What is so ironic about this is that these people profess to be Christians whose mandate is to love unconditionally. We all know that romance has a multitude of conditions.

There may come a time when you are faced with reality and you will not be able to magically think your way out of or into a situation. Examples of being faced with reality: Spouse walking out and you feeling like you a were unaware of even the possibility it could happen. Children leaving home or acting out. Friends taking more liberties by bring up the faults with your current situation.

For most people, magical thinking is an issue that starts early in life as many of us, especially girls are for feed fairy lies from the moment we show interest in reading. Magical thinking is everywhere and in shows up in every aspect of life. Acceptance of what is, is the only cure to magical thinking. A true desire and willing not to lie to oneself is the only thing that will stop it in it's tracks.

Right now, it might just be an issue for some, but let that issue turn into a situation, then you are left with an issuation to undo. Examine the areas of your life where you may be lying to yourself. Go ahead, oftentimes others already see it before you do.

What Are Friends For

I was recently talking to my long time friend Carmen and I told her one of the reasons I keep her as a friend is she has seen the full progression throughout the years as a woman. We became friends in my mid-twenties and our relationships has withstood some mighty foes.

One of her biggest assets is she knows most of my story with my husband because I cried on her shoulder and she would actually "just" listen the majority of the time. She allows me to get stuff out whether she has an opinion or not. One day I was telling her about a conversation I had with my husband. She interrupted me and asked, "How does he deal with it being all about you? All you say I "I, this and I that."

I listened to what she said and the first time I talked to him about my goals, dreams, etc.; I recognized that I did not talk in terms of eye. I made it about us. That really made me feel good about me. Even though when I talked to her, I said 'I' I was aware that what I wanted was for us all to gain and he knew that too.

Then there was the time I called and told her I had put him out, again. She stopped me and said, "The next time you do it, I'm gonna take custody of the TV. The poor TV been moved so much."

I laughed until I cried. She was right. It was the only thing he owned. One of the very few items he actually bought during our time together. Now, I am babysitting it.

I honor Carmen and thank her for listening to all my issuations back then. We also talked about the fact I have evolved from the sobbing, blind, dutiful wife, to a woman so sure she is sure, she is sure. She agreed. She agreed she has been witness to a woman coming deeply into her own and owning every bit of herself.

Another story about us:
I used to say, after she would complain about people's behavior, "Girl, folk got issues." I would leave it at that. One day I responded that way and she got pissed and said, "You don't never have nothing to say but folk got issues. Everybody don't have issues."

Years later she took a job at a mental health facility. She called me one night. "Girl, I see what you mean. Folks do be having issues."

We all have issues on some level. It is whether we let the issue turn into an issuation, that is the problem. We have to monitor the situations in our lives. Surround yourself with good, faithful and solid people. Be honest with each other and you will develop the same wonderful long lasting bound that Carmen and I have today.

Peace, love and soul

Paying to the Piper

I am truly paying for going out and dancing last night. My entire body locked down. I have had to use my cane to get around the house. I have so many emotions around in regards to this arthritis thing. It is so hard for me to accept on many levels. My mind is not accepting the signals my body is sending.

As long as I am moving, but not too long, I feel great. Last night I noticed as long as I was moving, I felt like myself. When I took a break and sat down, I felt resistance when I tried to get up. When I got home, I could barely make it to the door.

I have used a heating pad and discovered to only gives minor relief for a minimal amount of time. it feels good as long as it is applied to the area. Drugs are out of the question at this point. I really don't want  to walk around in space, feeling little of nothing, even if it is pain.

Man, this issue is turning into an issuation, fast.

The Real Problem

The real problem of the human condition is we have allowed most of our humanity to be drained from us. This is why when we find ourselves with certain issues, we let them turn into situations thus we end up with an issuation.

As humans, we have ourselves to remind us of love, patience, kindness, evil, hate, etc. Unfortunately, something has entered our collective psyche that has created a paradigm of continuous violence towards and hate for our fellow man.

I believe it is our lack of human interaction that has driven us to this point. Families aren't as loving as they could be, thus those who leave their homes everyday, bring a jacked up reality with them. People engaging each other, each bringing their own issues, creating situations that cause others to have to deal with issuations.

If we would only treat others the way we would like to ideally be treated, yes, this would be a much better world. Even those who hate themselves have an idea of how they wanted to be treated better. Until we practice this mandated creed of "Do unto to others, as you would have them do unto you," we will continue to see a decline in humankind.

Let Go Fool

Wow! I have witnessed this girl chase after this man for over six years. She wouldn't take the hints, suttle or not. Finally, he did the worse he could do and that was to bring another woman to her house to confront her.

Let go fool! Yes, it is poor taste on a man's part to do what he did, but you let the issue turn into a situation that you are unable to handle. Now, there are others involved and you look like the foolish little girl that you are. It had been rumored she had fought several women over the years for his attention. She had been able to run the others away, but he wasn't allowing it this time. He wanted to be rid of her.

I wonder if he knew he wouldn't survive the day after he did what he did, if he would have done it anyway. Now she is left looking even more stupid. All that effort she put into keeping him still netted her nothing in the end cause he's dead.

What an awful issuation she has created for herself. She will forever have to deal with the knowledge that this man did not want her and died with that feeling, even though she was the one with him when he went on to wherever drug dealers go.

Let go. Don't let issues turn into situations!

Smart Boy

My son called me after the U of L game to see if I took the car keys with me to work. He was planning to go out and hit the streets like hundreds of other fans due to the win. Yes, I took them on purpose. I knew what the issue was and I knew that the probability of it turning into an issuation was vast, all things considered.

Prevention is the key to most situations. I recognized that my son would probably feel compelled to celebrate, but I also knew that the police would be out heavily. Why would I allow him to jeopardize his job, health, maybe even his life just so he could feel the momentarily joy of being around alot of jubilant fans? Gunshots were fired after the last win. Thank God no one was hurt.

When I said to him, "Son you just may be glad I took the keys." He said, "You took them on purpose. You knew what I was going to do. Thank you! Thank you, Mom. I love you."

He was relieved. Even though there was a huge part of him that wanted to go out and hit the streets, deep down he knew he shouldn't be out there. He was glad I saved him from himself. Made me feel good that I thwarted what could have turned into a bad issuation.

Prevention is the key to issuations. Prevent an issuation today.

Count Down

Little did I know when I witnessed him bring his new girlfriend over to confront the old one, that this guy would be dead by the next day. Yeah, he was a drug dealer, but he kept to himself and you could tell he didn't want trouble. Yet, he chose to date trouble and she brought it at every turn.

Too much of a coward to end it with her; he brought a young lady to her home to confront her. It was a shameful act, but one he felt was right to portray. They tried to fight each other, but the mother came out and got in between it.

After his death, it was rumored they had been chasing each other in their cars earlier that Sunday morning. I encountered him as I was preparing to leave my home. He actually spoke so I could hear him, asking me if I was a diabetic. He gave me a line about his mother being very ill and that he needed to help her. It didn't fly with me, but I went in the house as though I was going to assist him. I stayed long enough to give the impression I looked for something. When I returned outside, he was down the street asking a couple if they had a needle.

When he saw me come out, he came back towards me not saying anything but looking at me intently with his begging eyes. I nodded that I did not have anything and go in my car. When I returned, I told my daughter, "Well, I guess the little drug dealer is probably laid up somewhere high."

She came to me about an hour later and told me he had ODed. My soul knew it. He was to frantic that morning. He was seeking and searching out that which helped him end his life. So many think is was suicide and it very well could have been. No matter why, he is gone, done, finished. He can't hurt anyone anymore; not even himself.

Watch how you treat people, especially yourself.

He let his issues turn into a deadly situation.

Say What? You Don't Use Condoms!

 A man who refuses to use a condom in this day and age has a serious problem. Talk about some deep issues. Either he is completely disrespectful and self-destructive, or his ego is really out of whack, or he is stuck in a time warp.

Whatever the case may be not wearing a condom shows how ignorant a person really is. This is an issue that can turn into an unwanted situation instantly.

He must not know there are strands of Herpes and other diseases that cannot be treated with antibiotics. Yep, shit you get you can't get rid of.

Not to mention the possibility of producing an unwanted child, which you also cannot get rid of, unless you gonna pull a Ray Carruth and have the momma and baby killed. You stuck with that issuation.

Even if you contract something you can get rid of, you are rarely the same after having a burning experience like and STD can produce.

What about those who are in supposedly committed relationships, but want to step out and into someones unprotected private area? These brothers have no respect for themselves are their partners. The least they can do is to wrap it up.

Whatever your issue is with wearing a condom, (may you be male or female) you need to know if you don't, you will most likely end up with an issuation you just may not be able to get rid of.

Grow up and wrap it up at all times! Plain an simple.

You Did It to Yourself

There are a lot of people who want to believe that every thought they have is original. They are so caught up in who they are and what they want and are most often unwilling to research and find out if they are correct, until they often create issues that turn into situations.

Once an issue turns into a situation there is a great probability the problem will be harder to solve. In the case of the type of person I described above, they need to accept they are not alone and that others have brains also. These people are ego centered enough to believe what they think is in a capsule, never recognizing the potential of others to discover, think about, or even act out some of the very same ideas.

Not being able to recognize anything or anyone outside of themselves; these people end up in a lot of issuations because they do not feel the need to reconcile any of their offensives because of course, they are always right.

These folk are often argumentative and unreachable. Over opinionated and undereducated, they focus on what they feel and use it a their guiding force. Once they find themselves in an issuation, they tend to want to blame others for their downfall. They completely forget they initiated the issue that caused the situation.

Accountability is the solution for this person. They need to be held accountable by others. This is the only way they will eventually get it. Unfortunately, these people are usually the loudest, most aggressive folk, so people tend to just let them have their way. This tactic is unhealthy for all involved.

Check yourself, before you wreck yourself.

What You Can Do To Prevent Issuations

Before I get into talking about issuations, I want to talk about how to avoid them.

The answer is so simple. There will always be issues. Life without issues is a life without life, but we can handle issues much better than situations. Oftentimes our issues start with us. Usually something we can handle is we only would. What happens is we allow what the issue is to fester into a full-blown situation with is often avoidable if we just take the time to deal with the matter when it arises.

Procrastination is the devil. Plain and simple. Especially for those of us who really want to achieve something in life. How do you prevent issuations? Put your big boy or big girl panties on and deal with the reality of the matter of the fact each time they are presented.

Most problems start off small. Recognize when balance is off in your life and do what you can to get it back to where it needs to be. Stop letting any and everybody into your life. Most folk have issues too so be careful not to allow someone to incorporate their issuations into your life.

Be willing to modify your plan need be. Issuations often happen because folk refuse to compromise or see the big picture.

Finally, be open to change as a whole. Know what you believe. Stand up for your rights and convictions. Be forgiving, loving and welcoming. All of this will help you prevent issuations.

Introduction to Issuations

Welcome to my new blog Issuations.

Issuations are issues that turn into situations. We have all done it. Allowed an issue to turn into a situation when all we had to do was handle our business. I did it with food and finances. Others do it with drugs, gambling, sex, bad relationships, poor parenting, etc.

What I see as the main social issue of the day is issuations. People refuse to hold themselves accountable for the jacked up choices they have made that have caused awful, often seemingly unchangeable situations in their lives.

This blog will deal with some of the things that go on in folks lives and hopefully provide some type of relief with suggestions as to how to not let issues turn into issuations.