"This book is about the fascinating, rich , nuanced and surprising world of men and sexuality." Let's deal with the title first. Yes, there are men who can fake an orgasm. Their reasons vary of course and range from being tired of having sex, being stressed out and taking certain medications.
David, was a 28 year old engineer who couldn't have an orgasm inside a woman. He was able to maintain an erection for a long time during sex and became somewhat of a stud. He began faking an orgasm because his girlfriend began to feel inadequate because she could not make him climax. He could tell her being able to help him release himself was attached to her self-esteem. After an examination proved there was nothing physically wrong with him, the doctor questioned him until he found out David's first experience achieving an orgasm had made an impenetrable impression on his sexual brain. When David was 12, he lay on a bed in Paris face down. The aroma of the French perfume was extremely feminine to him as he rubbed his penis against the sheets until he unexpectedly experienced his first orgasm.
The doctor prescribed a visit to the department store to by French perfume. He told David to let his girlfriend get on top. That way she was provide the friction he required to achieve an orgasm. On his next visit, David reported he was able to achieve an orgasm inside her vagina and he and his girl were happy.
The doctor used this story not only to prove men can successfully fake an orgasm, but also that sex is as much mental as physical. Another man admitted that if he has too much alcohol he has a problem reaching an orgasm. He said that if he can tell he is not going to come, he will then fake it.
"After a while I pretend it happened and we both go to sleep."
One man said, "It' s funny you ask. I've never told anyone this, but last year I sold my business, and my doctor prescribed an antidepressant. I'm off it now, but that medication made it really difficult for me to ejaculate. I faked it with my wife."
The doctor makes a point that if you take David's reason for faking it, as truth (he said he faked orgasms for this benefit of his girlfriend) he fake it because he wanted her to feel good about herself. The doctor says his gesture was considerate and kind. He goes on to say there will be those who will say David was doing it for his own benefit. He adds, "If trying to maintain a relationship is selfish," who among us would be able to honestly plead "not guilty?"
List of ways to fake an orgasm
- Think about death
- Imagine having sex with your mother
- Causing themselves pain during sex
- Bending their toes against the bedpost.
- Biting their forearms
Emotional Withdrawal
The doctor states, "One of the great misconceptions of male sexuality is that men are only concerned with their own orgasm."
Many woman have felt this way throughout the centuries. Remember, the doctor's patients are mainly men who are in relationships, or trying to be. He says, "Men fell awful if they believe they have sexually disappointed their partner."
I now know and understand my husband's premature ejaculations were the symptoms of the diabetes, high blood pressure and cardiovascular disease that eventually took his life. At the time, due to simple lack of knowledge, I would be upset, feeling lonely, sometimes crying my horny little eyes out. The brother really way doing the best he could do.
Sal's story is a sad one. He cried in the doctor's office when he told the doctor about a conversation he had with his wife of 21 years. She told Sal she had never had an orgasm with him during sex. "All the time I thought everything was okay, that I was giving her pleasure. I never knew. I'm nothing now. I can't even call myself a man."
Sal admitted to taking his bad days at work out on his wife after telling the doctor he wife said he was "too rough with her."
Her needs were changing and she was asking for something different than what they had been experiencing. He admitted that during the time they have been married they never talked about sex and he never asked her what she meant by being too rough with her. He assumed she meant during sex so he stopped having sex with her. She began to accuse him of having an affair. Sal went to the doctor because the real reason is he felt inadequate as a man because he found out she had never had an orgasm.
Studies have reported that between 15 and 25% of women in the U. S. are anorgasmic, (unable to achieve an orgasm). Those who do rarely achieve it through intercourse. They require hands on or lips on, or something on their clitoris to achieve an orgasm.
The doctor says over and over again men feel less than men when they come too quick, do not please their partner.
After reading this book, I have found another reason to love the man who taught me how to love. As he became completely impotent, he grew more physically available to me. Early in our relationship; every touch turned to sex. He began to show me more affection. He would hold me and even let me fall asleep in his arms a few times.
Several of the stories were disturbing to me to find out that there are men out their who identify so with their penises that when they begin to have problems they completely stop touching or holding their partners. One man literally said he didn't want to lead his wife on. If he touched her, or kissed her or even played with her like he used to do, it was not fair to her because he could not perform. She was bragging about how he would come behind her affectingly, play with her, hold her hand thinking he was being intimate, when all they time he was expecting sex. He withdrew all emotion because he couldn't handle his penis not staying hard.
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