Forever Penis: Part Two

The Scary Part

What Is a Man?

Is a man defined by his penis? You would think so the way the men of today are going crazy over the young men’s fashions that call for some to choose to wear a skirt, dress, leggings, sagging, whatever the case may be. These men are frustrated and also seem to be intimidated, feeling their sexuality slipping away because of someone’s choice of fashion.

The doctor says, “No,” a man is not defined by his penis. “Females exposed to high levels of androgen (molecules with testosterone-like properties) during fetal life often have a hypertrophied clitoris that is hard to distinguish from a boy’s penis.”

What about testicles? Do they make a man a man? The doctor says, “No. Individuals with testicular feminization have testicles, yet these individuals live quite happily as women.”

He also states that genes do not always make the difference because there are instances where the Y chromosome is there, but necessary genes are maladaptive making the male look female. High testosterone levels do not indicate a man. There are men who have had prostate cancer and their testosterone levels are completely reduced. Does this mean they are no longer men?

The doctor says it is all of these things and yet none of them at the same time. He asked us to be aware that the universal belief that man is completely different from females is false.

“Part of the confusion is that sexuality is expressed on at least three levels: gender (Do I have the parts of a boy or a girl?), and sexual orientation (Do I like boys or girls—or both—sexually?). What is intriguing, if a bit mind-boggling, is that all three of these levels of sexuality are independent of each other. In my mind, there are two additional considerations: one is hormonal.”

Testosterone is responsible for much of the behavioral differences between boys and girls. It affects the mental and physical differences we are aware of in men and women.

“The final level is even more difficult to define. I believe it is a cocktail of psychology, free will, and spirit.”

The doctor believes it is the way a man behaves that makes him a man. The choices they make, their swagger, the way the walk through the world as agents of free will. It is the bigger concept of maleness that is misunderstood and this book attempts to help us bridge that gap. He believes it makes no sense to label the sexes, “opposite sex,” when in fact we have so much in common.

The scary part? The men in this book and men I have known and know of, put so much into their penises that they actually believe women feel the same way about the penis, too. Over and over, the theme in this book keeps going back to men want to please their lovers. Men feel less than a man if they cannot get an erection. Even the doctor had to admit that the energy men put into worrying about their performance is for naught, because a woman who chooses to be with a man usually does so not because of his penis size or how good of a lover he is, but because she loves who he IS, period! So there is no wonder the doctor remains in awe of the lack of communication between the sexes. He even mentions the very real truth that many women actually have pain during intercourse, or are not interested after a certain point in life, or could do it or not. It is scary how far apart we are and yet so close.