What It Really Means to Know Your Worth

Issues arise throughout the days of our lives. We actually go from one issue to another attending to some, ignoring others, or letting other people handle them. An issuation is born when an issue is allowed to turn into a situation. One particular issuation seems to plague many women and that is the issue of not knowing their worth.

I suffered from this greatly. I have done the work needed to maintain peace and joy in my life; I have come to understand  as a woman I am the greatest of all creatures. The Universe has trusted me with the ability to co-create. I can then nourish the creation and any other with my own body. I have the ability to share my life at the deepest level possible for mankind. I am woman.

Yet, for years I hated the very sight of me. I made decisions based on the belief that I was less than. Oh, but now that I know who I am and whose I am! I came very close to letting my lack of self-worth turn into an issuation. It did make it to situation status, but I was able to recognize the situation and back tracked to the issue, which turned out to be I had no idea of my worth.

When you know your worth, you do not deny the feeling in the pit of your stomach when you are about to do something that is not in your best interest. You no longer allow others to disrespect you, ignore you, or put you on their back burner. Knowing your worth will no longer allow you to be the whipping post for those with misdirected anger. You no longer desire to be around people who are harming themselves.

You stop trying to save others. Yes, we all have a light, but it is up to the individual where to let it shine. I chose marriage and motherhood. My light shown brightly throughout those years and I was able to help raise three beautiful, productive human beings. Our time is now. It is all we truly have. We must embrace ourselves and accept the challenges life brings us with grace and faith. We are worthy. We are women!

What Are Friends For

I was recently talking to my long time friend Carmen and I told her one of the reasons I keep her as a friend is she has seen the full progression throughout the years as a woman. We became friends in my mid-twenties and our relationships has withstood some mighty foes.

One of her biggest assets is she knows most of my story with my husband because I cried on her shoulder and she would actually "just" listen the majority of the time. She allows me to get stuff out whether she has an opinion or not. One day I was telling her about a conversation I had with my husband. She interrupted me and asked, "How does he deal with it being all about you? All you say I "I, this and I that."

I listened to what she said and the first time I talked to him about my goals, dreams, etc.; I recognized that I did not talk in terms of eye. I made it about us. That really made me feel good about me. Even though when I talked to her, I said 'I' I was aware that what I wanted was for us all to gain and he knew that too.

Then there was the time I called and told her I had put him out, again. She stopped me and said, "The next time you do it, I'm gonna take custody of the TV. The poor TV been moved so much."

I laughed until I cried. She was right. It was the only thing he owned. One of the very few items he actually bought during our time together. Now, I am babysitting it.

I honor Carmen and thank her for listening to all my issuations back then. We also talked about the fact I have evolved from the sobbing, blind, dutiful wife, to a woman so sure she is sure, she is sure. She agreed. She agreed she has been witness to a woman coming deeply into her own and owning every bit of herself.

Another story about us:
I used to say, after she would complain about people's behavior, "Girl, folk got issues." I would leave it at that. One day I responded that way and she got pissed and said, "You don't never have nothing to say but folk got issues. Everybody don't have issues."

Years later she took a job at a mental health facility. She called me one night. "Girl, I see what you mean. Folks do be having issues."

We all have issues on some level. It is whether we let the issue turn into an issuation, that is the problem. We have to monitor the situations in our lives. Surround yourself with good, faithful and solid people. Be honest with each other and you will develop the same wonderful long lasting bound that Carmen and I have today.

Peace, love and soul