What It Really Means to Know Your Worth

Issues arise throughout the days of our lives. We actually go from one issue to another attending to some, ignoring others, or letting other people handle them. An issuation is born when an issue is allowed to turn into a situation. One particular issuation seems to plague many women and that is the issue of not knowing their worth.

I suffered from this greatly. I have done the work needed to maintain peace and joy in my life; I have come to understand  as a woman I am the greatest of all creatures. The Universe has trusted me with the ability to co-create. I can then nourish the creation and any other with my own body. I have the ability to share my life at the deepest level possible for mankind. I am woman.

Yet, for years I hated the very sight of me. I made decisions based on the belief that I was less than. Oh, but now that I know who I am and whose I am! I came very close to letting my lack of self-worth turn into an issuation. It did make it to situation status, but I was able to recognize the situation and back tracked to the issue, which turned out to be I had no idea of my worth.

When you know your worth, you do not deny the feeling in the pit of your stomach when you are about to do something that is not in your best interest. You no longer allow others to disrespect you, ignore you, or put you on their back burner. Knowing your worth will no longer allow you to be the whipping post for those with misdirected anger. You no longer desire to be around people who are harming themselves.

You stop trying to save others. Yes, we all have a light, but it is up to the individual where to let it shine. I chose marriage and motherhood. My light shown brightly throughout those years and I was able to help raise three beautiful, productive human beings. Our time is now. It is all we truly have. We must embrace ourselves and accept the challenges life brings us with grace and faith. We are worthy. We are women!

Forever Penis: Part Three

The Nitty Gritty

Ejaculation Versus Orgasm

Ejaculation and orgasm are separate biological events for men. According to the doctor, “Orgasm is the full-body experience of reaching that magic point of release.”

“Ejaculation, however, is the expulsion of the sexual fluid,” Dr. Morgentaler states.

These functions occur simultaneously in men. “Not only do some women ejaculate like men, but the fluid squirted out is biochemically similar to make semen and comes from glands lining the urethra that are essentially a female equivalent to the male prostate.”
 

There are 3.5 instances where a man can become erect.
With sex

 Masturbation

Upon awakening in the morning and the half are for the times when a man becomes hard for no apparent reason, or because he has a sexual thought. This can happen anytime day or night and usually diminishes as the man ages.
 

The only thing other than ED, illness or trauma to the genital area that cause a man not to get it up is the mind. This book is about how the mind works against erections and other factors that can cause a man to go limp. The ED medications only work with mental or physical sexual stimulation. One of the doctor’s patients was given Viagra and specific instructions to take it on an empty stomach and to do something sexual. The man took the med before he ate dinner, then went and watched a baseball game while his wife waited for him to come to bed. He went back to the doctor telling him the pills were, “junk.”

He had not followed the instructions. You would think there would be more reports of men who take Viagra being more willing to participate in foreplay since mental stimulation is required to trigger the medication to make the penis hard.

Dr. Morgentaler performs surgery on men who cannot get an erection. His primary tool for treating ED is the Penile Implant. The penis is made up of three cylinders; the two corpora cavernosa and make the penis hard. The corpus spongiosum has spongy tissue and surrounds the urethra and form the glans, head, of the penis. This instrument is placed within the corpora cavernosa (the two paired chambers of the penis responsible for erection). There is Reservoir filled with a saline that is placed in the pelvis behind the pubic bone. The pump is placed in the scrotum. The man feels like he has three balls. When the man wants to have sex, he simply pumps, pumps, pumps it up to his desired hardness. The device is deflated by pressing a button on the pump. Needless to say, this is the most popular treatment for ED in men who cannot use medications and prefer not to shoot themselves in the penis with a hardening solution each time he wants to have sex.

Low-T

Dr. Morgentaler is one of the pioneers who discovered that men go through a similar experience as women in middle age and for now, has termed it male menopause. Low testosterone can cause men not to be interested in sex, feeling lifeless, irritable and as many stated, “Just not myself.”

The doctor prescribes shots, pellets in the buttocks or creams and gels that the man must use over a period of time. The results have been a revitalization in many men who had believed they lost their edge.

One of the funniest stories was about a father who came to see the doctor about his adult son who was 25 years old. The father proclaimed something was wrong with him because he didn’t date and basically refused to do anything. As it turned out, the young man had a bad sexual experience with the second girl he had sex with. She made a remark about his penis. He took it to heart and didn’t have sex again for over 3 years. When he went to see the doctor, not only was nothing wrong with him, he had a bigger than average penis.

You gotta read the book to get the full effect. A great read.

Forever Penis: Part Two

The Scary Part

What Is a Man?

Is a man defined by his penis? You would think so the way the men of today are going crazy over the young men’s fashions that call for some to choose to wear a skirt, dress, leggings, sagging, whatever the case may be. These men are frustrated and also seem to be intimidated, feeling their sexuality slipping away because of someone’s choice of fashion.

The doctor says, “No,” a man is not defined by his penis. “Females exposed to high levels of androgen (molecules with testosterone-like properties) during fetal life often have a hypertrophied clitoris that is hard to distinguish from a boy’s penis.”

What about testicles? Do they make a man a man? The doctor says, “No. Individuals with testicular feminization have testicles, yet these individuals live quite happily as women.”

He also states that genes do not always make the difference because there are instances where the Y chromosome is there, but necessary genes are maladaptive making the male look female. High testosterone levels do not indicate a man. There are men who have had prostate cancer and their testosterone levels are completely reduced. Does this mean they are no longer men?

The doctor says it is all of these things and yet none of them at the same time. He asked us to be aware that the universal belief that man is completely different from females is false.

“Part of the confusion is that sexuality is expressed on at least three levels: gender (Do I have the parts of a boy or a girl?), and sexual orientation (Do I like boys or girls—or both—sexually?). What is intriguing, if a bit mind-boggling, is that all three of these levels of sexuality are independent of each other. In my mind, there are two additional considerations: one is hormonal.”

Testosterone is responsible for much of the behavioral differences between boys and girls. It affects the mental and physical differences we are aware of in men and women.

“The final level is even more difficult to define. I believe it is a cocktail of psychology, free will, and spirit.”

The doctor believes it is the way a man behaves that makes him a man. The choices they make, their swagger, the way the walk through the world as agents of free will. It is the bigger concept of maleness that is misunderstood and this book attempts to help us bridge that gap. He believes it makes no sense to label the sexes, “opposite sex,” when in fact we have so much in common.

The scary part? The men in this book and men I have known and know of, put so much into their penises that they actually believe women feel the same way about the penis, too. Over and over, the theme in this book keeps going back to men want to please their lovers. Men feel less than a man if they cannot get an erection. Even the doctor had to admit that the energy men put into worrying about their performance is for naught, because a woman who chooses to be with a man usually does so not because of his penis size or how good of a lover he is, but because she loves who he IS, period! So there is no wonder the doctor remains in awe of the lack of communication between the sexes. He even mentions the very real truth that many women actually have pain during intercourse, or are not interested after a certain point in life, or could do it or not. It is scary how far apart we are and yet so close.

Back to Realati

For me, becoming more whole revealed the separation that lies within me. Realati was born out of pain and fear. Over the course of a year and a half, I had several gall bladder attacks. The first one happened the night of Carmen's birthday party. I was cooking and bringing chicken wings. AS I was frying the wings, and randomly eating the wings; I began to have tremendous pain and vomiting spells.
I did not associate the pain with the fried chicken. I had to go to the party because my Sweet Thang was meeting me there and there was no way I was gonna miss being with him. Yet, the pain and vomiting were real. They stopped after a while and I was able to meet with my Sweet Thang and do the Wild Thang, even with the lingering pain. This was in October.
I had no more bouts with said pain and vomiting until April. We bought cake with Buttercreme frosting and real ice cream for our son's birthday party. I indulged and it started all over again. I was not able to make the connection at this time either, but I did go to the doctor as I cannot take pain and the man who taught me how to love could not bear to see me in such pain. I was told my gall bladder needed to be removed. I had fried it with fried, greasy, oily, fatty foods.
Wow! It messed me up to know that I have overindulged in something to the point it destroyed an organ in my body. I had let and issue become a horrible situation. I had been lying to myself. This fact along with how ignorant I was about the effects of certain foods had almost cost me my life. After I came home from the hospital, I started a garden. When the man was done tilling the ground, I lay upon it on my back looking up to the sky and thanking God for enlightening me. As my neighbors watch in amazement and the man who taught me how to loved looked at me with his, "What the hell is wrong with her," look on his face; I got up a different, wiser, more open person. I was fully aware of how fragile I was and how I was my own worse enemy.
I began a journey that saw 78lbs in weight loss and the birth of Realati Lyphe.

A Woman Cannot Raise A Man

No matter how you slice it, a woman cannot successfully rear a male child into his maleness. Maleness is a given factor that women do not understand and must discover to even be able to tolerate the presence of men. This lack of understanding has ruined a lot of relationships and lives of little boys.

Unfortunately, this issue has become an issuation and only serves to destroy families. So many folk have divorced because they simply did not recognize the gender differences that cannot be changed. Yes, men think differently than women and vice versa. Until both sexes accept and respect this, we will continue to have a high rate of divorce.

Cheating is often given as the a reason for many divorces in this country. The number is unimaginable when it comes to how many women throughout history have been cheated on when they were pregnant. On the surface we can challenge a man's character, or we can accept that society and lack of knowledge often creates an environment where cheating can arise.

Example: Lack of Knowledge

How many people do you know who believe the baby can be touched during sexual intercourse? If you believe this, you man or woman, is not going to want to do anything to hurt the fetus. No sex for these folks, or at least the woman. The man will use his belief that he should never be without sex, or that he cannot control his sexual appetite to cheat on his wife.

Example: Societal Pressure

How many people do you know who think pregnant women are sacred and should not be sexually active? These people, men and women, Use the condition to pull away during a time when they should be drawing closer. It has only been in the last 25 years that women have been revealing their protruding stomachs. There was a time they tried not to be seen in public.

My point is this, we must delve into the origin of these things that keep us from understanding the opposite sex, even with understanding, without compassion for the opposite sex change will not come about. So many single mothers are bitter when it comes to men that they often unintentionally burden their male children with challenge of becoming a man on his own because she can barely think of men without becoming hostile. How do you think that resonates to the soul of a young man trying to become a man? To see the mother whom he loves dearly cringe at the sound of his father's name, or any other man she has claimed to love. This hurts and confuses him.

I encourage women who do not have male figures in their son's lives to do all they can to make it happen. Stop hiding behind having to work as a reason not to parent. Often the reason you are alone is of your own making, whether you accept it or not. Your male child deserves a chance in this world and he will be better suited if he has a decent male role model to help guide him.

Middle-aged Woman

What I like most about being an middle-aged women is you can play both sides of the fence for as long as your mind and or body holds out. Looking back at the position I held; I was in step with the teenagers. They hated they couldn't run no game on me. I still remembered all this little innuendo stuff that went on in high school and although a little modified, it was the same premise.

I attribute a lot of my youthfulness to my love for music, laughter, sex, and dancing. My oldest told me she would always know when my husband and I were making love because she would hear loud music and laughter. I am a joyful sex partner. I think sex is fun. Being middle-aged, tube tied, and menopausal; I honor my sexuality and am in total of control over with whom I share it with.

Middle age feels good to me. I feel as solid as I tried to portray in my early life. Now, I am that woman without hesitation. When I moved among others, I try to shrink, but my shoulders fly back, my head zips up and I just keep focused on where I am going.

I have decided to grow an Afro. Lawd, I am tender headed. I have not had hair for almost 23 years. It is time for a change. Heaven must be like this. This complete feeling of self-trust. The remembering of what the world made you forget. I keep reminding myself I am great and am an Empress, able to rule over my emotions, decipher my feelings and act appropriately in all occasions.

As with most everything in life, there is a downside to middle age. For me it has been the onset of Osteoarthritis, glaucoma and obesity. I cope.

I refuse to let any issue in my life become an issuation. Reaching middle age has taught me I can work it out.

In The Image of Him

Both the fathers of my children are in nursing homes. Well, one should be, but is too self-loathing to stay. His mind has not accepted that he has no legs, no real useful use of his hands, little strength in his arms.

The first is the father of my oldest daughter. I went crazy over him the moment I laid eyes on him. I tell the story in my autobiography, "Telling the Truth and Shaming the Devil."

He knocked on the side door. I looked out and saw the most gorgeous little man I had ever seen. He only stood 5'1", but boy his skin glowed and his eyes shown the innocence that was at his core.

"I am here to see Pam." He said boldly.

Just as bold with a tad more audaciousness, I said, "She told me about you. She don't like you. I am the one you need. You are beautiful. Look at your eyelashes. Are those real? Your skin is like gold. What's your name?"

The end.

He was mine for the time he wanted to be mine. I moved in with him and he began to feel like "a married man."

We had our baby boy moment and parted ways. I never looked back to this day. Now, his body represents what his mind experienced. Trauma and fear. Disconnect from the norm and loneliness.

The father of my two youngest children is suffering from an unbelievable amounts of illnesses. He was genetically predisposed to many of them, but his lifestyle was the real culprit. He ain't what he wanted, as much as he wanted. He had is liquor and beer. He had his smoke  and coke. He did his thang.
He excited me. He made me want to fly and I did for a long time. I got to do everything I wanted to because of his pseudo-support. I am a true testament to "You can't keep a good woman down." I made the best of every minute he gave me.

It was a "potential" thing with me. He is as smart as a whip and a master of disguise and innuendo. He would consistently try to outwit me after having done so once are twice. Those times I knew deep down; I was just lying to myself.

I saw all the things he could have done, while he just kept encouraging me to do more. Now, he is running from the life he so cleverly created. He's pissed because he is the forgotten one, the one no one can stomach for too long. Bitter and self-pitying; I barely recognize the man that was never there.

To both of them, I pray for God's will. I do not regret giving my all to either one of them. They both know they were loved and well taken care of on my watch.

Them brothers have some serious issuations.

Why Black Women Are Not Marriage: Part One

There will be a lot of women mad at me by the end of this piece; especially black women. I will risk the anger to tell the truth. Simply put, many women, but particularly black women are not marriageable.

 Marry, as with many words, has several meanings listed in the dictionary. According the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, definition number two reads: “To combine or blend agreeably.”

Agreeably, agreeable, agree, if I am to be honest most black women I know have the tendency to be disagreeable on some level. When it comes to whether a man is going to choose you or not, and he doesn’t, it very well may be because you display signs of being disagreeable.

Agree -- To grant consent; accede. 2. To come into or be in accord, as of opinion. 3. To be of one opinion; concur. 4. To come to an understanding or to terms.

Wow! Be honest. How close do you come to being agreeable with anyone throughout your day? How often do you agree with yourself? We contradict ourselves all the time. Women gripe about the phrase, “Boys will be boys.” But we have one just as bad, “It is a woman’s prerogative to change her mind.” This statement was undoubtedly born out of some man’s frustration to understand the fickle nature of his woman.

Dr. Boyce Watkins, publisher of the website www.thegrio.com, wrote an article Single Black Women Should End the Blame Game. He wrote: “We know the story: over 70% of all African-American women don’t have husbands. That is a tragedy for the entire family, especially the children. “

It truly is a tragedy and one that can be turned around with some sisters accepting this wake-up call. Most people can’t see themselves. In a lot of ways black women have been given a huge pass both historically and presently. We have always been allowed to work, whereas black men have been kept out of the workforce one way or the other. This factor alone is enough to cause friction in a marriage, but an enlightened couple could overcome the obstacles of social castration. This will not happen if they cannot come to an understanding.

This “pass” I mentioned earlier that black women have been given has served to create a group of women who taunt men with the phrase, “I can do bad all by myself.” They sing it like an anthem all day, then cry to their friend, family, or in their pillows because they cannot find a man willing to marry them.  

It is not that we roll our necks, or yell sometimes, or how much money we spend, etc. that keeps us single, it truly is our seemingly inability to learn to at the least agree to disagree. Most often many women seek to have “their way.” Oh, yeah, you believe you are right and you know what? Being a women I to dare say we are right a lot. Even if you are right 50% of the time, there is still another 50%. What many women do is ignore the possibility their opinion falls within the 50% that is wrong. They want to be right at all cost; even if it means not having a father for their children, sleeping alone, paying all the bills, doing all the laundry, cooking all the food, going to all the conferences, and so on.

These are the superwomen who die from heartache disguised as heart disease. They become bitter and live their lives blaming the lack of a man for their unproductive lives, when in reality it was because they did not learn how to become agreeable, that they were unmarriageable.

I know black men do not understand why they have a hard time with us. They have seen these superwomen do things they could never imagine, yet, they still have a sense that something is amiss. Even though they love their superwomen grandmothers and mothers, they may shy away from women who display their qualities, especially if they are the type who believe their opinion is always right and they know what is best for everyone they come in contact with.

The fact these women are this way with everyone sometimes gives the impression they are being authentic. It is just the opposite. These women are often scattered, unable to finish projects, fatigued, lonely and angry. Because they cannot agree with anyone’s opinion except their own, they find themselves isolated, not only from potential husbands, but family members and others. Show me a superwoman and I’ll show you a Lone Ranger. They might seemingly be there to save the day, but not really because whoever they help better be ready to do it their way, or they just may not receive help, or wish they didn’t because they’ll have to hear about it forever.

Dr. Watkins continues: “I’m sorry if this hurts your feelings, but I’ve got to be real. Most kind, attractive, intelligent women are able to find good husbands. Some of us spend our lives either barking up the wrong trees or barking in a way that sabotages our objectives.”

He is right. For many of us, our bark is just a preview of our bite. Some of us can be harsh, and yes, if you want to stay in the natural, you do have a lot of reasons to be angry. Just with the daily pressures of being a black woman, you can justify your anger, but as a human being, a Christian as many of you are, you do not have the right to bulldoze others with your opinions, wants, needs, and desires.

Most of the women who are not marriage material have been through numerous failed relationships. They may have actually started out “kind, attractive, intelligent women,” but let their poor choice of men make them bitter and resentful. Some of them torture their children, who God help them, “Look just like your daddy.” Some turn to drink, or drugs, or continue the downward spiral of wrong man, wrong time.

Then there are the women who have never really allowed themselves to love another fully. They want relationships and will try to get next to love without getting involved. They can be committed, but will never fully commit. These are the women who usually have the good jobs, and money. They are guarding their things, while pretending to be guarding their hearts.

We all know the woman who wants her man to have everything. She will brag and boast to her friends how she had to buy him this, that and the other because he didn’t have anything. She’ll show him the world, introduce him to all the right people, and most likely is just what he wants in bed. But when it comes to him having his own life, he is cut short, and if he doesn’t tow the line, cut off. She’ll cry to her friends how he took advantage of her and she had to put him out because he wasn’t right. When in reality, he probably wanted to go a game with his buddies and she didn’t want him to go. He went anyway and she took that as complete rejection. These women are scary.

And of course, no about black women would be complete without talking about the battered wife. Although the syndrome is real, and it usually has its roots in the woman’s childhood, there still is an aspect of the battered woman’s personality that people just can’t seem to grasp. People always ask, “Why do they stay?” For some they stay because they really think they can control the man. Many of these women started out as dominate in the relationship, or so they man let them believe, then one day she wanted to do for someone other than him, and he snaps. You see this with couples who dated in high school and married young.

It is out of arrogance and egotism of the worse kind when a woman feels she is the only one who understands or can care for a man, especially when he is beating you daily. In the worse twisted way, many of these women really feel they understand these guys. The man only plays on the woman’s desire to be superwoman. Whereas some superwomen are super angry, some are super passive, but have learned to use their passive natures in a way that is unhealthy for them. These women choose men who continue to fulfill their desire to be the martyr of the family. They are the ones who take on all the burden and pain. They will say, “I just wanted us to be a family. I know he really loves me and the kids.”

The black woman’s seemingly inability to learn to agree to disagree will keep her single and unhappy.    

What Is Your Issue?

I watched Al Sharpton's interview with Oprah and was glad to hear he had stood up to himself, said no and found a healthier way of life. His issue was clearly food. He ate fried chicken three times a day. It is a wonder he is alive.

We all have our issues. Food happens to be mine also. It was only when I told myself no that I was able to say yes to life. Most of us think our sin is better than an other's. We relish in our ability to manage being out of control. Al Sharpton most definitely was raging because he was starving himself. His body was not  getting what it needed to function properly.

For me, when I almost died from Pernicious Anemia, I woke up and began to take my health seriously. I was literally dying from a protein deficiency. Vitamin B-12 shots once a month sustain my life. It is absolutely amazing to me. I take several supplements, but the most important things I do for myself is I get rest, sleep and try to do all things in moderation.

Al Sharpton is being strict with himself which is a great things especially since he is so hard on others. He, as have I, have dealt with our demons and our lack of weight gain shows it. I recently began taking medication for a thyroid that should have been treated probably most of my life. with four weeks I lost eight pounds. When issues arise, we must tackle them before the become situations cause before you know it, you'll have an issuation on your hands.

What is your issue?

Watch What You Ask For

One of the issues most people have is they ask for things whether they really know if they want them or not. No thought is put into their request so when they get what they want and find out they don't want it, depending on what it is, they are usually upset.

Then, they become the victim when they asked for what they didn't really need or want in the first place. This is one of the many issues that turn into situations leaving the person with an issuation.

The only way to stop this pattern is to know who you are. Self-awareness will stop you from asking for stuff you ultimately will not want or need. Self-reflection is the way to self-awareness. Reflecting on ones thoughts and actions can reveal to them the patterns that ruin their ability to maintain happiness, find joy and accept peace.

Unfortunately, we live in a world that tells us more is the answer; when in reality, having less is usually  the beginning of gaining more.

Watch what you ask for, you just may get it.

What Are Friends For

I was recently talking to my long time friend Carmen and I told her one of the reasons I keep her as a friend is she has seen the full progression throughout the years as a woman. We became friends in my mid-twenties and our relationships has withstood some mighty foes.

One of her biggest assets is she knows most of my story with my husband because I cried on her shoulder and she would actually "just" listen the majority of the time. She allows me to get stuff out whether she has an opinion or not. One day I was telling her about a conversation I had with my husband. She interrupted me and asked, "How does he deal with it being all about you? All you say I "I, this and I that."

I listened to what she said and the first time I talked to him about my goals, dreams, etc.; I recognized that I did not talk in terms of eye. I made it about us. That really made me feel good about me. Even though when I talked to her, I said 'I' I was aware that what I wanted was for us all to gain and he knew that too.

Then there was the time I called and told her I had put him out, again. She stopped me and said, "The next time you do it, I'm gonna take custody of the TV. The poor TV been moved so much."

I laughed until I cried. She was right. It was the only thing he owned. One of the very few items he actually bought during our time together. Now, I am babysitting it.

I honor Carmen and thank her for listening to all my issuations back then. We also talked about the fact I have evolved from the sobbing, blind, dutiful wife, to a woman so sure she is sure, she is sure. She agreed. She agreed she has been witness to a woman coming deeply into her own and owning every bit of herself.

Another story about us:
I used to say, after she would complain about people's behavior, "Girl, folk got issues." I would leave it at that. One day I responded that way and she got pissed and said, "You don't never have nothing to say but folk got issues. Everybody don't have issues."

Years later she took a job at a mental health facility. She called me one night. "Girl, I see what you mean. Folks do be having issues."

We all have issues on some level. It is whether we let the issue turn into an issuation, that is the problem. We have to monitor the situations in our lives. Surround yourself with good, faithful and solid people. Be honest with each other and you will develop the same wonderful long lasting bound that Carmen and I have today.

Peace, love and soul

Smart Boy

My son called me after the U of L game to see if I took the car keys with me to work. He was planning to go out and hit the streets like hundreds of other fans due to the win. Yes, I took them on purpose. I knew what the issue was and I knew that the probability of it turning into an issuation was vast, all things considered.

Prevention is the key to most situations. I recognized that my son would probably feel compelled to celebrate, but I also knew that the police would be out heavily. Why would I allow him to jeopardize his job, health, maybe even his life just so he could feel the momentarily joy of being around alot of jubilant fans? Gunshots were fired after the last win. Thank God no one was hurt.

When I said to him, "Son you just may be glad I took the keys." He said, "You took them on purpose. You knew what I was going to do. Thank you! Thank you, Mom. I love you."

He was relieved. Even though there was a huge part of him that wanted to go out and hit the streets, deep down he knew he shouldn't be out there. He was glad I saved him from himself. Made me feel good that I thwarted what could have turned into a bad issuation.

Prevention is the key to issuations. Prevent an issuation today.

Say What? You Don't Use Condoms!

 A man who refuses to use a condom in this day and age has a serious problem. Talk about some deep issues. Either he is completely disrespectful and self-destructive, or his ego is really out of whack, or he is stuck in a time warp.

Whatever the case may be not wearing a condom shows how ignorant a person really is. This is an issue that can turn into an unwanted situation instantly.

He must not know there are strands of Herpes and other diseases that cannot be treated with antibiotics. Yep, shit you get you can't get rid of.

Not to mention the possibility of producing an unwanted child, which you also cannot get rid of, unless you gonna pull a Ray Carruth and have the momma and baby killed. You stuck with that issuation.

Even if you contract something you can get rid of, you are rarely the same after having a burning experience like and STD can produce.

What about those who are in supposedly committed relationships, but want to step out and into someones unprotected private area? These brothers have no respect for themselves are their partners. The least they can do is to wrap it up.

Whatever your issue is with wearing a condom, (may you be male or female) you need to know if you don't, you will most likely end up with an issuation you just may not be able to get rid of.

Grow up and wrap it up at all times! Plain an simple.

You Did It to Yourself

There are a lot of people who want to believe that every thought they have is original. They are so caught up in who they are and what they want and are most often unwilling to research and find out if they are correct, until they often create issues that turn into situations.

Once an issue turns into a situation there is a great probability the problem will be harder to solve. In the case of the type of person I described above, they need to accept they are not alone and that others have brains also. These people are ego centered enough to believe what they think is in a capsule, never recognizing the potential of others to discover, think about, or even act out some of the very same ideas.

Not being able to recognize anything or anyone outside of themselves; these people end up in a lot of issuations because they do not feel the need to reconcile any of their offensives because of course, they are always right.

These folk are often argumentative and unreachable. Over opinionated and undereducated, they focus on what they feel and use it a their guiding force. Once they find themselves in an issuation, they tend to want to blame others for their downfall. They completely forget they initiated the issue that caused the situation.

Accountability is the solution for this person. They need to be held accountable by others. This is the only way they will eventually get it. Unfortunately, these people are usually the loudest, most aggressive folk, so people tend to just let them have their way. This tactic is unhealthy for all involved.

Check yourself, before you wreck yourself.

Introduction to Issuations

Welcome to my new blog Issuations.

Issuations are issues that turn into situations. We have all done it. Allowed an issue to turn into a situation when all we had to do was handle our business. I did it with food and finances. Others do it with drugs, gambling, sex, bad relationships, poor parenting, etc.

What I see as the main social issue of the day is issuations. People refuse to hold themselves accountable for the jacked up choices they have made that have caused awful, often seemingly unchangeable situations in their lives.

This blog will deal with some of the things that go on in folks lives and hopefully provide some type of relief with suggestions as to how to not let issues turn into issuations.