The Issuation? Caitlin/Bruce Jenner

One of the most important lessons I learned from staying married is people change. People's perception of themselves modifies. We evolve or we don't.

The Religious Folk

The religious folk are trying to speak for God as if they have any true idea of what God thinks. God,
already knew what Bruce Jenner was before he did. I ask all the Christians who proclaim, "God is unhappy, He is not pleased."
What if Bruce's journey is a test for those who do not have to walk it? What if, God wants to see if we can be non-judgmental, unbiased, open, loving, compassionate and understanding? These are the questions I NOW ask myself. As I remind myself, God already knew. So this can't be about the person not doing what they are doing, but it has to be about how I am going to deal with how I feel and what I believe about the situation, problem, dilemma, etc.

Tools (Some Men)

The language some men are using to describe their disgust over Bruce Jenner's decision to become Caitlin, a woman, bothers me immensely. One of my Facebook friends used the phrase, "damn woman," when referring to what Jenner wants to become. Another thought it utterly crazy that he would want to become a "woman."

What the hell is wrong with him feeling like a woman? It took one to help make him a man. After reading the book, "Why Men Fake It: The Truth About Men and Sex," by Abraham Morgentaler, MD; I have come to the real conclusion that men and woman are not as different as we obviously need to believe.

Seriously, the tone of some of these men would make you think Jenner was trying to become a Shark or something just as foreign to who he is as a person. I truly believe, personally, these men who respond like that have some jacked issues about sexuality and they are completely unattractive. Their disdain for the feminine is clear and their lack of understanding and compassion is shameful.

Both Parts

Not only does Jenner want to be a woman, he wants to keep his dick. He's really gonna make some folk happy. This is even more confusing to those who "just don't get it."  He likes dressing and looking like a woman, which has nothing to do with who he is sexually.

The Life!

Women have a life that some men never will enter or understand. Our abilities are vast and we are capable of so much more than the average man and are willing to go so much farther in our intimate, professional and intra-personal relationships. Why wouldn't a man who feels his feminine side more, not want to partake in the non-sexual aspects of womanhood? Bruce Jenner has shown he has the heart of a champion and his decision, to come from who he has been and step into who he wants to be is nothing less than courageous.

I applaud anyone who chooses themselves over the scorn and ridicule of the world. Each of us are miracles. Most of us were, at the least, in the running with hundreds of thousands of little sperm trying to become human.

With the killings and domestic violence going on in the world, one would think we would try to put some love out in the atmosphere. Instead, we continue to spew poisonous rhetoric, trying to talk for God, but at the same time claim to know that the plan has already been laid. You can't have it both ways. Whatever Jenner's reason is for becoming Caitlin; he has to live with them. Remember, what he eats does not make you fat. People change.

Why I Love Black Men

It really pisses me off that I have to explain why I want a black man to black people. That is the dumbest shit, but exposes the big issue. We hate ourselves and we don't get enough ways to show it. We just keep on being stupid.

Why the hell wouldn't I want a black man? The more I write this the more pissed off I get. What the hell is wrong with wanting to be loved by a black man? Am I crazy because I refuse to buy into what they white man has said about the black man? Am I wrong to hold out for hope that a black man will recognize the gem that I am, take me in his arms and wrap me up in his life?

No, I think not. I know the Universe plans for me to share my love with a man who has no doubt about who I am because we are the same and we know it. If there is a difference, it ain't the same. There is no one for me if it ain't a black man. And yes, I men mean a black American man. Anyway! Miss me with that bullshit. I think people just jacked up cause I know what I want and have no problem saying exactly what it is.

But I know it goes deeper than that. Folks plantation mentalities creep up when you don't include white people. They take what they want. They can't take what I create from within. We have to stop giving them so much power. I am not disrespecting anyone by stating my preference. That is the whole point of being free. I know I'm free to choose and I choose to have a black man by my side.

How I Grieve

The Reverend spoke to my soul when he said, "We often say, "If there is anything I can do call me."
We do this knowing from the jump that we are hoping they don't because who really knows how to comfort someone after a loved one has died.

He also said that we should keep our mouths shut. This is what I choose to do. I say nothing. I let the person come to me and I'll send the written correspondence, but I say nothing. Words cannot truly express the deep hurt many feel when someone dies. My view on death is not like that of many others. I welcome it. That is why I work so hard. When it is my time to reach that final resting place, I want it to be just that, rest.

I refuse to leave this world with regrets and not have lived my life. I refuse to allow who I am to be diminished by fear of not living to see who I want to be. I truly believe we are meant to experience all we desire on some level. Moderation, respect and understanding should guide our daily steps. I plan to live until I die.

How I grieve is to be silent for I have no knowledge of God's will for others. I didn't know they were coming and won't know when they are to leave until they are gone. When they do, a part of me is jealous. They are done with the troubles of this world.

Paying to the Piper

I am truly paying for going out and dancing last night. My entire body locked down. I have had to use my cane to get around the house. I have so many emotions around in regards to this arthritis thing. It is so hard for me to accept on many levels. My mind is not accepting the signals my body is sending.

As long as I am moving, but not too long, I feel great. Last night I noticed as long as I was moving, I felt like myself. When I took a break and sat down, I felt resistance when I tried to get up. When I got home, I could barely make it to the door.

I have used a heating pad and discovered to only gives minor relief for a minimal amount of time. it feels good as long as it is applied to the area. Drugs are out of the question at this point. I really don't want  to walk around in space, feeling little of nothing, even if it is pain.

Man, this issue is turning into an issuation, fast.

The Real Problem

The real problem of the human condition is we have allowed most of our humanity to be drained from us. This is why when we find ourselves with certain issues, we let them turn into situations thus we end up with an issuation.

As humans, we have ourselves to remind us of love, patience, kindness, evil, hate, etc. Unfortunately, something has entered our collective psyche that has created a paradigm of continuous violence towards and hate for our fellow man.

I believe it is our lack of human interaction that has driven us to this point. Families aren't as loving as they could be, thus those who leave their homes everyday, bring a jacked up reality with them. People engaging each other, each bringing their own issues, creating situations that cause others to have to deal with issuations.

If we would only treat others the way we would like to ideally be treated, yes, this would be a much better world. Even those who hate themselves have an idea of how they wanted to be treated better. Until we practice this mandated creed of "Do unto to others, as you would have them do unto you," we will continue to see a decline in humankind.

Let Go Fool

Wow! I have witnessed this girl chase after this man for over six years. She wouldn't take the hints, suttle or not. Finally, he did the worse he could do and that was to bring another woman to her house to confront her.

Let go fool! Yes, it is poor taste on a man's part to do what he did, but you let the issue turn into a situation that you are unable to handle. Now, there are others involved and you look like the foolish little girl that you are. It had been rumored she had fought several women over the years for his attention. She had been able to run the others away, but he wasn't allowing it this time. He wanted to be rid of her.

I wonder if he knew he wouldn't survive the day after he did what he did, if he would have done it anyway. Now she is left looking even more stupid. All that effort she put into keeping him still netted her nothing in the end cause he's dead.

What an awful issuation she has created for herself. She will forever have to deal with the knowledge that this man did not want her and died with that feeling, even though she was the one with him when he went on to wherever drug dealers go.

Let go. Don't let issues turn into situations!

Smart Boy

My son called me after the U of L game to see if I took the car keys with me to work. He was planning to go out and hit the streets like hundreds of other fans due to the win. Yes, I took them on purpose. I knew what the issue was and I knew that the probability of it turning into an issuation was vast, all things considered.

Prevention is the key to most situations. I recognized that my son would probably feel compelled to celebrate, but I also knew that the police would be out heavily. Why would I allow him to jeopardize his job, health, maybe even his life just so he could feel the momentarily joy of being around alot of jubilant fans? Gunshots were fired after the last win. Thank God no one was hurt.

When I said to him, "Son you just may be glad I took the keys." He said, "You took them on purpose. You knew what I was going to do. Thank you! Thank you, Mom. I love you."

He was relieved. Even though there was a huge part of him that wanted to go out and hit the streets, deep down he knew he shouldn't be out there. He was glad I saved him from himself. Made me feel good that I thwarted what could have turned into a bad issuation.

Prevention is the key to issuations. Prevent an issuation today.

Count Down

Little did I know when I witnessed him bring his new girlfriend over to confront the old one, that this guy would be dead by the next day. Yeah, he was a drug dealer, but he kept to himself and you could tell he didn't want trouble. Yet, he chose to date trouble and she brought it at every turn.

Too much of a coward to end it with her; he brought a young lady to her home to confront her. It was a shameful act, but one he felt was right to portray. They tried to fight each other, but the mother came out and got in between it.

After his death, it was rumored they had been chasing each other in their cars earlier that Sunday morning. I encountered him as I was preparing to leave my home. He actually spoke so I could hear him, asking me if I was a diabetic. He gave me a line about his mother being very ill and that he needed to help her. It didn't fly with me, but I went in the house as though I was going to assist him. I stayed long enough to give the impression I looked for something. When I returned outside, he was down the street asking a couple if they had a needle.

When he saw me come out, he came back towards me not saying anything but looking at me intently with his begging eyes. I nodded that I did not have anything and go in my car. When I returned, I told my daughter, "Well, I guess the little drug dealer is probably laid up somewhere high."

She came to me about an hour later and told me he had ODed. My soul knew it. He was to frantic that morning. He was seeking and searching out that which helped him end his life. So many think is was suicide and it very well could have been. No matter why, he is gone, done, finished. He can't hurt anyone anymore; not even himself.

Watch how you treat people, especially yourself.

He let his issues turn into a deadly situation.